John and Lori Odum are members of St. Cyprian Parish on Philadelphia. Married for 18 years, they have served as PreCana instructors for the Archdiocese of Philadelphia for 17 years.

HE SAYS:

Joe: When I got married my wife was the perfect size, now she weighs a lot more.  Before we got married one of things I loved to do was look at Lynn. Lynn has put on so much weight. I told her that weight wasn’t part of the marriage plan and that she can control it. I can understand a few pounds but 25 or 30 pounds? How can she do that to me? It is so hard to see her as attractive. My love for her has not changed, but my affection for her is not the same as it was before the weight gain. She should go on a diet or exercise regularly. She needs to do something.

 

SHE SAYS:

Lynn: Joe makes me so mad. He’s always telling me how much weight I’ve gained. I told him that after two children it’s hard to get rid of the weight. He loves the children and he should understand that weight comes along with having children.  He wants me to go on a diet. I keep telling him that diets are hard for me to stay on. Since I cook for the family I am not able to manage the diet. I know my body doesn’t look the same but I am the same person he married. Things could be different if he would help with the kids and household duties a little more. That would give me time to go to a gym or join a program. Miracles do happen but not with weight loss. It is hard to get him to understand that.

 

WHAT DO THEY DO?

Joe is looking for the woman he married 10 years ago. He’s looking for the slim, attractive, before-bearing-children Lynn. Lynn works hard in her marriage and raising the children. Her family is her number-one priority. Trying to get back to the figure she had 10 years ago isn’t on her priority list. Joe should realize that. Joe and Lynn need to sit down and talk to each other while remembering these three words: FAITH, LOVE and UNDERSTANDING.

They need to have FAITH in the Lord and faith in each other. They must also remember that they are the same two people who married each other 10 years ago.  Their LOVE for each other must be stronger than ever before because the hard times will come and love helps you see and choose the right path. They must UNDERSTAND that life is ever changing and “looks” are just “looks.” Deep down inside where the heart and soul are, both Joe and Lynn are the same. They must pray about this matter and all matters. Nothing is too big or small to pray about. Prayer is powerful.

Joe needs to realize that constantly reminding Lynn of her weight gain doesn’t help the situation. Lynn can’t do what he’s asking of her all alone. She needs his support. Lynn should realize that Joe loves her and cares about how she looks. Together they should be able to tackle this small problem in their marriage.