Deacon Paul and Helen McBlain write the Marriage Matters column for CatholicPhilly.com. Members of St. Joseph Parish in Collingdale, they have been married more than 50 years and have seven children and 21 grandchildren.
He says:
Bill says: Many of my wife’s married girl friends have taken to not wearing a wedding ring. Just last week, Louise mentioned to me that she would like to do the same.
Louise and I have been married for 18 years, have three wonderful children, and have been in love from the first day we met. And now, all of a sudden, this comes up!
I remember how happy and excited we were the day we bought our wedding rings, and how proud we were on the day we placed the ring on each other’s finger (Yes, I wear my wedding ring and have no desire to ever remove it).
Louise and I have rarely had serious arguments, but I just will not give in on this point. Don’t our wedding vows mean anything to her anymore?
She says:
Louise says: Bill is really being silly over this whole issue. Some of my friends read an article online stating that the wedding ring on a married woman is a sign of her subjugation and servitude to her “master,” her husband. This prompted them to stop wearing their wedding ring as a sign of their liberation and independence.
They claim they still love their husband and say that their husbands do not seem to mind, and their marriages are perfectly OK.
Quite frankly, I am prompted to not wear my ring, only so that I will not be teased by my friends when we get together.
I still love Bill and do not want to hurt his feelings, but I do not see this as any big deal.
[hotblock]
What do they do?
The wedding or marriage ring came into use in Christian ceremonies more than 1,000 years ago. The custom of wearing the wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand is based upon a romantic, but unscientific, fable that the artery from that finger flows directly to the heart.
Today, the wedding ring is seen as a symbol of an unending commitment to the marriage relationship.
Sometimes the simplest things can bring out the worst in us. Bill and Louise need to be careful to be sure that their perceived hurt feelings on this matter do not produce harsh words which, in turn, may produce more hurt feelings, allowing a “minor” matter to become a difficult issue in their marriage.
The first and most important principle in resolving conflicts in relationships, especially in marriage, is to “love one another” as Jesus has loved us (John 13:34).
Louise’s wedding ring, a symbol of their love for each other, should not be allowed to become a source of discord in their marriage.
Bill and Louise need to come together “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) to resolve this conflict. Remembering their love for each other, they should ask the Lord Jesus to help them “love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10).
Wearing a wedding ring is not a requirement for married Christians. But wedding rings are a beautiful reminder of the marriage covenant entered into by the couple and Jesus Christ.
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