By Deacon Paul and Helen McBlain • Marriage Matters  • Posted January 13, 2017

She says:

Sarah says: When I first met Sebastian, I admired his willingness to allow for my dedication to my job. I devote a significant amount of time as an administrative assistant. Now Sebastian seems to be less willing to accept the amount of overtime I am required to provide with this position.

I work for an aging gentleman who will probably retire within the next couple of years and he does depend more and more on my expertise. I am not sure what my future will be with this company once he retires, so I do try to provide for his professional needs.

In addition, Sebastian and I are interested in starting a family in a couple of years.  I am hoping to earn enough money now to pay off my student loans as well as put enough aside for a home in a good school district.

How can I convince Sebastian that the time I spend at work now is gaining more quality time for us in the future?

He says:

Sebastian says: I love Sarah so much! In the two years we courted prior to our marriage it was fairly easy to overlook her overtime at her job. I did not live with her and it did not cut too deeply into our time together.

[hotblock]

In the two years since we did wed, now that we are living together, I find that she seems to prioritize her boss’s needs and not ours. I am often left alone at night or on some weekends as she panders to this old guy. I hear her reasoning that she is trying to earn as much as possible now so she might be able to have no school loans hanging over our heads; to allow us to be in a larger home; to be in a better school district, and her being able to stay home with our future children.

I get that, but I also want to be better able to enjoy our time together now, before those babies come along. I think we need to deepen our love now so that we will be better able to handle kids who will infringe on our time together once they do come along. How do I accept Sarah’s being away so much when all I seem to want to do is to be with her?

What do they do?

“What shall I do … I shall tear down my barns and build larger ones … to have so many good things stored up for many years…. But God said to him, ‘you fool, this night your life will be demanded of you’.” (Luke 12:18-20).

We are not blessed by God to accumulate good things for ourselves. We are blessed to be a blessing in the lives of others, and we are blessed to build the kingdom of God.

The point is clear; if we honor God with what he has given us, he will bless us with more, so that we can honor him with more.

Sarah and Sebastian have evidently been the recipients of blessings from God.

Sarah has a good job, earning good money, and has the blessing of assisting an older man in his senior years.

Sebastian does not appear to have financial worries, but frets over lost time with his wife in their marriage.

Sarah and Sebastian need to realize that, like the wealthy farmer in the Gospel, we are guaranteed nothing. God expects us to make good use of the gifts and time we receive from him right now, in the present moment. What seem to be time and relationships and experiences that we can put off until later may not be available to us when we are ready for them later in life.

What if Sarah and Sebastian are not able to conceive children at the time they are ready to accept them?

What if the “financial security” Sarah and Sebastian seek to accumulate for later years gets wiped out in the ensuing years? Think the financial crisis of 2008!

What if poor health afflicts Sarah or Sebastian, requiring constant attention and loss of “quality time” together?

Sarah and Sebastian, take some time together to thank God for blessing you with the covenant of marriage, trusting you with each other’s hearts and giving you the opportunity to love each other unconditionally.

“Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)