By Gia Myers • Posted November 25, 2025

The annual Memorial Mass for Parents of Deceased Children was celebrated Wednesday evening, Nov. 19 at St. Teresa of Calcutta Parish in Limerick, filling the 1,000-seat church to capacity.

Now in its 15th year, the liturgy has become a deeply meaningful tradition for families grieving the loss of a child, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, childhood accident, illness, addiction, or loss later in life.

“Parents don’t want their children to be forgotten,” said Father Paul Brandt, the pastor of St. Teresa Parish who began the tradition. The Mass is “an opportunity for parents to remember that child,” he said, and a way to offer hope amid a kind of grief that never truly leaves.

“It’s difficult waking up every day without that child,” he said. “We try to give them a positive option.”

Father Brandt first felt called to create the memorial Mass after reflecting on the quiet, lifelong grief carried by his aunt, a beloved parishioner of St. Teresa’s, who died at age 94. Although many knew her as a widow who sang in the parish choir, few knew she had lost her 10-year-old son in a bike accident decades earlier.

“She carried that her entire life,” Father Brandt said.

It struck him that although the terms “widow” or “widower” are used to describe a surviving spouse, there is no word to describe a parent who has lost a child.

“The pain is still there,” Father Brandt said. “It never goes away.”

He also recalled a fellow priest who shared how his family honored a deceased sibling each year by celebrating Mass at home about a week before the holiday season. These personal stories, combined with the Church’s dedication of November to the Holy Souls, inspired Father Brandt to begin an annual Mass one week before Thanksgiving.

A hallmark of the liturgy is the presentation of memorial candles, white pillar candles bearing the name of each child being remembered. Families bring the candles forward during the Mass and place them on a table in the sanctuary, where they burn throughout the liturgy.

“It’s beautiful seeing all those candles there reminding us of those children who were lost,” Father Brandt said.

This year 199 candles stood in silent witness. Many parents later use them at home on anniversaries, birthdays, or during Advent. One elderly woman even had her collection of candles buried with her when she died.

The Mass draws a diverse range of attendees, from young parents grieving recent miscarriages to elderly men and women who lost children to addiction decades earlier.

“There are different scenarios, but the same reality of a parent losing a child,” Father Brandt said.

Shawn Marie Brown, director of parish services, has helped coordinate the Mass every year since it began. She witnesses both tears and profound peace among attendees.

“Parents have great gratitude for this Mass, whether they got to experience their child being born or not,” she said.

A reception after the liturgy offers families a chance to connect, share memories, and speak freely with others who understand this unique kind of sorrow. Despite the heaviness of the subject, the atmosphere is not somber, according to Brown.

“It’s cathartic for them. It brings them consolation,” she said. “We’re celebrating their loved ones.”

This year’s Mass was celebrated by Father Brandt with the assistance of Permanent Deacons Dave Kubczak and Jim Nash, Transitional Deacon Thomas Cipolla, and seminarians Tyler Boreani and Alex Parmet. Music was provided by John Anthony Seitz, the parish’s director of music.

The Mass is also supported by local members of Compassionate Friends, a national nonprofit offering support to families grieving the loss of a child.

Judy Cosgrove, co-chair of the Phoenixville Chapter, attended with 12 members.  She described the Mass as “beautiful,” and said it helped attendees “feel connected to their loved ones” while offering comfort, uplift, and a way to honor their children.