The call can come on an ordinary weekday afternoon — the kind of call that changes everything. A grandmother picks up the phone and learns that her grandchild’s parents are unable to care for the child. There is no time to prepare, no roadmap for what comes next. She hangs up, looks around and realizes she’s a parent again.
For thousands of grandparents across Pennsylvania, this moment is not hypothetical. It is real, unexpected, and life-altering. And it is the moment that animates the work of Karen Barnes, founder of Grands Stepping Up, a Delaware County organization dedicated to supporting grandparents and kinship caregivers raising children when parents cannot.
“These caregivers step in out of love, not because they planned for it,” said Barnes, whose work is rooted in her Catholic faith. “But they often feel alone. I wanted them to know someone is walking beside them.”
A Crisis Hidden in Plain Sight
Most Americans don’t realize the scale of what these grandparents shoulder. According to national research from Generations (the journal of the American Society on Aging), 2.1 million grandparents in the United States are the primary caregivers for their grandchildren. In Pennsylvania alone, data compiled by Grands Stepping Up shows that nearly 260,000 children live in homes headed by grandparents or other relatives, and more than 84,000 grandparents or kinship caregivers are fully responsible for meeting children’s basic needs.
The reasons vary — addiction, incarceration, mental-health struggles, abuse, instability, or simply the parents’ absence. But the impact is similar: older adults suddenly thrust into daily parenting, often while on fixed incomes, managing health issues of their own, and facing legal or educational systems designed for younger parents with traditional custody arrangements.
“It’s a population people rarely think about,” said Marie Thornton, who is now raising four grandchildren on her own while receiving support from Grands Stepping Up and volunteering with the group. “But they’re raising whole families quietly, behind closed doors, without complaining. Karen sees them.”
Finding Purpose in Personal Loss
Barnes knows both the weight of caregiving and the ache of loss. During the pandemic, her brother Denis — who had Down syndrome and was her closest friend — died of COVID-19. As she grieved, she channeled her strength into serving others, founding Grands Stepping Up during a period when the need in Delaware County surged.
One of her first acts was launching Denis’s Pantry, a full-service food pantry in Havertown named in his honor. “Denis loved people, and he loved helping,” Barnes said. “This pantry reflects who he was — someone who welcomed everybody.”
Yet as the organization grew, Barnes recognized that food alone wasn’t enough. Grandparent caregivers needed everything from emotional support to help navigating school systems to guidance on legal guardianship. Out of that realization emerged a holistic wheel of support — workshops, referrals, peer mentoring, and crisis assistance — focused on restoring stability and dignity to grandfamilies under strain.
The Weight They Carry
Grandparents raising grandchildren paint a consistent picture.
There are financial pressures, especially for grandparents on Social Security or limited retirement savings suddenly buying diapers, clothing, school supplies, and groceries for growing children.
There are legal challenges, with many grandparents lacking formal custody, making it hard to enroll their grandchildren in school, authorize medical care, or apply for assistance.
There is emotional strain, as older adults parent children grappling with trauma, instability, or grief.
And there is isolation — the feeling that, while everyone celebrates the traditional image of grandparents, few understand the daily reality of raising children again at 60 or 70 years old.
Barnes hears these stories every day. She listens without judgment, offers resources, and above all, creates community.
“Karen has a way of making people feel safe,” Thornton said. “She understands their struggle, and she treats every family with dignity. That’s why they keep coming back.”
Building a Community of Strength
The programs have grown significantly, serving caregivers across Delaware County and beyond, and Barnes continues to expand offerings based on what families say they need most — school advocacy, mentalhealth support, emergency assistance, or simply a listening ear.
Grands Stepping Up also collaborates with schools, social-service agencies, and county partners to ensure caregivers don’t have to navigate complex systems on their own. Barnes often accompanies grandparents to appointments or helps them complete paperwork that feels overwhelming.
“When you help a caregiver,” she said, “you help a whole family. And that’s how communities get stronger.”
Hope Rooted in Faith
Barnes’ work flows from both personal conviction and her lifelong Catholic faith that started at home and in the halls of St. Denis School and Archbishop John Carroll High School. She also served at one time on the board of the Catholic Church of Philadelphia’s TODAY program, which stands for “Transforming Opportunities for Disabled Adults and Youth.” Her daughter will receive the sacrament of confirmation in the Catholic Church next year.
“My Catholic faith is what has driven me every single second of my life through this,” she said. “The Lord gives me the strength to endure, and I’m just so grateful. I pray to Him all the time, and I say ‘Lord, I have all these people before me who I’m trying to help.’ And I can say that so many times, my prayers have been answered.”
Putting her faith into action, she believes every child and caregiver deserves safety and love — and hope.
“The things we’re dealing with are harrowing on many different levels,” she said. “What do we have if we don’t have a glimmer of hope?
“I might not be able to do everything for you, but I can give you the absolute hope that you are not alone.”
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Faces of Hope is a series of stories and videos highlighting the work of those who make the Catholic Church of Philadelphia the greatest force for good in the region. To learn more about a new way forward for the Church of Philadelphia, visit TrustandHope.org. If you know someone you’d like to see featured, please reach out to editor@catholicphilly.com.
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