Brianna Dauby
As Lent begins, I am struck by the beauty of having a due date on Easter Sunday. It is a time when my life aligns beautifully with the liturgical calendar and I can more fully enter into the suffering and Passion of Christ. Through these final weeks of my first pregnancy, I am struck by the ways the Lord has allowed me to trust more fully and rely on His strength.
Being pregnant during both Advent and Lent has provided me with a deeper understanding of the juxtaposition of joyful anticipation and suffering in the Catholic faith. The suffering that accompanies every pregnancy is met with the joyful anticipation of meeting this new life that is growing inside of me. Just as with our faith, we are joyfully awaiting the Resurrection and the life that is to come while suffering and sacrificing with the Lord in these 40 days of Lent.
Mary most deeply understands this interwovenness of joy and grief. Upon presenting our Lord in the Temple, she was told that her Immaculate Heart would be pierced with a sword of sorrow. Mary shows us Catholics, especially mothers, the obedience that is required to carry our cross alongside Jesus.
I have developed a devotion to our Lady of Sorrows over the past few years and am hoping to increase my devotion to her this Lent. Mary gave birth to Jesus in the manger, raised Him, and then willingly accepted the Lord’s will by giving up her Son for the sake of our sins.
As Mary followed her Son on the path of Calvary, she displayed perfect obedience to the Father. Beginning at the Annunciation, Mary completely emptied herself so that she could be filled with the Holy Spirit. In the weaknesses that develop through pregnancy, there is an opportunity to allow Jesus more fully to enter and fill me with His strength.
During these weeks of pregnancy, I feel that I have been able to understand more fully the Easter triduum, especially Holy Thursday and Good Friday.
I have been frequently calling to mind the Scripture from Jesus on the final night with His apostles saying, “This is my body given up for you.” There is a beauty that the Catholic Church recognizes in the strength and sacrifice of women and mothers that is shown in the sacrifice that Jesus made when He willingly gave up his body for our sins.
There have been times throughout this pregnancy where I felt the pain or struggle was too much to get through. During these difficulties I more deeply entered into the Garden of Gethsemane with Jesus where I wanted the pain of that time to pass. Then, I had to learn to enter into the suffering and to accept the will of God for that moment.
As my prayer begins to change and will continue to change into motherhood, it has been difficult learning how to adapt my prayer to this new phase of life. Caryll Houselander eloquently wrote, “You should ‘pray without ceasing’ — but not verbal prayer, not mental prayer, but the prayer of the body, and the prayer of acceptance and immolation.”
Houselander continues, “Say only one prayer a day; the morning offering of the Apostolate of Prayer is ideal: ‘O my God, I offer you all my words, thoughts, actions, and sufferings today, in union with your divine heart in the Holy Mass.’ Then let your prayer be simply your offering of yourself to do God’s will, to rest and relax in Him, and to offer everything you do as a prayer.”
Jesus and Mary’s journey to Calvary and the cross was the ultimate prayer, which I hope to understand and embrace more fully as I enter into motherhood. I do not know if this baby will arrive during Lent, the Triduum or in the Easter season, but I feel a gratitude to be able to enter into the cross with Christ during this time of Lenten preparation.
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Brianna Dauby is a freelance writer for CatholicPhilly and a parishioner at Sacred Heart Church in Bridgeport.
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