By Deacon Paul and Helen McBlain • Marriage Matters • Posted February 2, 2018

She says:

Ella says: Brad and I have been married for two years. We have already been blessed with a daughter. Both of us are over the moon with our baby.

My concern is, I fear having another child too soon. We still have school loans to repay. We both work full time and live in a starter home. Fortunately, my sister, who has a few kids of her own, babysits for us.

Brad talks about our having as many kids as God will provide. Brad is confident God will not give us more kids than we can handle.

I, on the other hand, have reservations about the cost involved. Brad and I have calculated how much money it takes to raise children and that frightens me. Children are a blessing, but a really expensive one! I need to continue to work and besides, I worked hard to gain my employment and I love my job. Having a large family could be difficult if we just rely on God to determine our family size. Brad urges me to relax with this issue and just trust in God. I really wish I had the faith and trust that Brad has, but I do not.

He says:

Brad says: I am crazy about our little girl and I see more children as a true blessing. I admit Ella had the harder part of carrying this child or future children, but she too is so enjoying our baby. Ella’s sister has been a great support with her babysitting and encouraging Ella to loosen up and not be so tense about creating a family.

[hotblock]

Ella is creating financial problems that might occur, rather than just enjoying our time and child now. Who knows what can happen tomorrow? I say: enjoy God’s gifts today. Believe that he will be there for us, even if we do have more than a couple of kids.

What do they do? 

No couple can see into their house of tomorrow. We cannot foreknow our future blessings, financial condition, problems, situations or challenges.

Although it is good to plan for the future, having uncertainties hanging over our present, like a dark cloud, can take the enjoyment out of life today.

Most couples who are married for only two years are usually not in a really secure financial situation, especially if they are still in the process of paying off college loans. These loans will eventually be paid off, but probably replaced by children’s needs. Many couples manage large families and enjoy life.

It appears if it weren’t for financial uncertainty, Ella would be more relaxed and less fearsome of bringing more children into our world. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in this world, other than the guarantee that Jesus will always be with us.

[hotblock2]

Each child conceived and brought into our world is Ella and Brad’s love enfleshed. Each child will bring their own personality, family-stamp, individual uniqueness, challenge and love to their family.  Brad is much more relaxed with the idea of just letting life flow.

God has a perfect plan for every family. The key is to be open to where he leads you. Ask him to guide and direct you in this area. He may only give you one, he may give you twelve.

Ella and Brad need to search around for groups in their area, such as Marriage Encounter, which support marriage and families.

They also need to learn about natural family planning which would be beneficial for the spacing of children, if the need arises.

Ella and Brad appear to have good communication, as well as a faith-based positive outlook. With God between them, they cannot go wrong. With God’s help they will let life happen.

“Like a fruitful vine your wife within your home, like olive plants your children around your table” (Psalm 128:3).